The foundations of the art of dealing with kids
At least for your child ... your Brush your teeth .....
Say ... but I'm happy for you that you always clean your
teeth
At least for your child ... I do not paint on the wall .......
Say ... but I draw on paper and I will comment when finished painting on the wall
((( Learn the art of Prevention )))
:Rules forbidding in
:If you want to end is for sure to the following rules
Do not end the only objective for the necessities says d . Had field " when it is born the right things that the nine out of ten , it is usually accepted without protest the prohibition only
Do not make subjective factors associated with mood personal motivation for the prohibition . If the end of the child to exercise his right to play just because you unstrung or need reading
Do not make your son's room for the secretion of your stress . And venting about your suffering heavily prohibitions
Do not proceed from motives of revenge
Do not transmit the frustrations of childhood for your children
Do not make your relationship Banneker relationship Balladry top , and the strongest Baroda
If VThompsk is forbidden to do so teach your child a sense of discipline and attention
Try as forbidden is to put it in the form of concern for the safety of the child; to give him a sense of security and safety , and dispel the concerns of the child
Explain the reason for the prohibition : do not play the lute sulfur so as not to burn ..
about what you see negative to positive : Vandalism furniture home games converts to the jaw and installation, and hyperactivity to regular exercise ...
Do not scream and raise your voice and you end and issue orders to him , a child will learn to stay away from things that he should not touch them with education , pheasants and not to scream in his face .
"The adult when the screaming in the faces of the children do not do more than an invitation for a child is challenging because more and to continue to more bad behavior ."
Be careful not to provoke the contradictions in the life of the child is not caused by all : the harmful effects of smoking and you smoke ... and the consequences of lying and ordered one of them back to you if the house does not exist Nhinah about something we should be the first Alambtaadin him .
Learn the art of Prevention : Common mistakes parents forbid they erected themselves as leaders of the order and Prevention and other submission and obedience . The children and people generally reject what they learn in the form of orders and prohibitions , while if it came to accept it in the form of : Taman Beauty proposal .. there is a world of difference for your son Ben went : " Beware that you do not do .. " . And " I wish I could not do this thing how beautiful that no one is a smoker
Eight rules for the best deal
:Try to
convince your son, it does not impose obligatory
how that avoid commands
Do not machine to issue commands
Do not make your son from the machine to execute the commands
I respect your son to convince him through, and not in a provocative way prohibitions
Do not press him forcing him on many things ... the pressure caused anxiety and aversion
Do commendable and encouragement; child to prepare for the implementation of what it meant
Do not abound of commands do not feel your children Bmracpetk strict t
Do not abound of commands do not feel your children Bmracpetk strict t
The first rule : Do not end for command only when necessary
Rules educational means foundations and controls should be adhered to ; but misses a lot of educators while seem to think that the way to achieve these foundations are frequently issuing commands and prohibitions .. educational work builds on dialogue and persuasion , and the signal direct and indirect , and all means of effective communication and acceptable to the future of the child as interference in recipe " which is better
The large number of prohibitions and taboos in a child's life , the negative impact more than the positive , which is generally paralyzes creativity and entrepreneurial spirit and courage of the child , do not encourage never to leave children without stop them from certain actions , this method left the child does what he wants without controls reared generations pampered does not comply the rules of social life , and at the same time do not support the exaggerated version of do's and don'ts . And approach the center is that any moderation in : "Do not Ninh about something unless necessary " This approach is the one that takes into account the terms of mental health and psychological development of the child
For it is to put rules and border controls and reasonably , and expounded on the family life style of dialogue and persuasion , and to recall them from time to time in general, and is not always associated with a particular person or incident
The second rule : the child on instinct , and any tension in his relationship with adults poses a question mark : of who is at fault
This serenity, this instinct continue throughout the age of innocence which is below the age discrimination here wonder when children described stubbornness , aggressive , and do not follow the orders of parents , educators and the weakness of academic achievement during the early years .. Who is responsible for these flaws and imperfections
Who is responsible for any relationship tension is between two parties , one distinctive sane and the other a minor child does not discriminate
Would we went to ourselves to discover deficiencies and imbalances in both our behavior or morals or the ways we deal with children
If the child insisted on playing , movement, and the latest voice and a nuisance in the house at the same time insisted that the mother or father to Trotsky Shell movement to enable them to follow television programs and accused innocent child that it is annoying stubborn stubborn I wonder ? Is this a child who is out of character and instincts to move and discover the world around him through movement play ? Or two parents who insist on Analog force the child to conduct against the imperatives of growth and physiological origins on the behavior against the imperatives of growth and physiological and psychological upbringing
If passed mother to put the bit in the mouth of her son two years old , for example , insisted is to eat his hand without the need to help others, and stuck to the parent position , fearing for their clothes child or carpet and insisted the child on his position in line with the beginning of self-reliance and displacement towards independence from the mother figure I have this natural instinct of every child after the twenty- fifth month , the month of the beginning of the development of the basic building blocks of the human personality and the mother accused her son's stubbornness if he does not punish him or slap in the health point of it is I wonder really stubborn .
Is this a child who is subject to divine the ways of God for the growth of transplanted human or the mother who wants to impede this natural growth
The third rule : a person has a child 's feelings and sensations ... to respect worker
Many of us think that the child is just a small object ... does not understand , does not know , does not feel does not feel , is not affected and err .. believe it!
The childhood is the most delicate and vulnerable paper ... and through the outlines of the human personality and the future ...
If the father had insulted and mocked by his son .. and adults in contempt .. not the boy soon be established on a two cases .
child influenced the treatment of contempt on his injured failure and weakness and submissiveness and surrender , and he was convinced inside a human being weak , failed on something he can not and the result loss of self-confidence , introversion , isolation from others , shame , fear of cheese .
did not accept the child to be a victim of the practices of contempt and ridicule ... rebel against every law and refuses knew each command and prohibition and advised for parent Disparager ..... opposed . Refuses , in highlighting the same overused and independence ... The result : stubborn bitchy first class , rebellious values and ideals represented by the institution of family .. ready to drift behind all askew and delinquent ...
Both cases represent the image of a human being socially unacceptable , failed ineligible to contest in the change and development of society , or receive educational messages ... and needs rehabilitation to great effort and have plenty of time ... and the reason disregard the character we think they are small does not grasp or understand ... and complain after that the stubbornness of our children or deviating , or Antoaúathm
excess of the limit
The parents are urged to :
- The treatment of their children with all the respect and appreciation ...
- Dialoguing with all literature ...
- Understand their thoughts and feelings and emotions ... from seeing any of the children do not see an adult , what seems trivial for these parents may be in the eyes of their children no matter what.
- Involve children in matters of life and family counseling , and take their opinion on some issues notice to them their importance within the family .
- Flexibility in dealing with them , taking into account the rapid growth that characterizes childhood .
- Keep them away from Joe marital quarrels and differences that may cause them to suffer a painful Eekptonha inside them ... usually does not doubt any sane person in their negative impact on their behavior and their future academic , psychological and social ...
- Listen to the children when they want to talk and talk with the parents and sit on a body suit levels . To proceed from the conviction and always aware that we are dealing with a human being with feelings and sensations ... has to be taken into account as we like to take into account the feelings arise for our children to respect others .. It is something young man broke it! !
The fourth rule is : ( persuaded the child does not impose upon presumably ) .
Dealing with children the art and science ; Just as we make the effort to learn the skill of life with the machine , or driving a car , respectful of traffic laws , and educated the proper ways to deal with a car .. how to deal with the most complex existing creature in the universe , namely the human , and the most complex is have a small child in the formation and growth stages ...
Often impose on our children without orders to hold ourselves the trouble of explanation or reasoning or explain the significance of what we want from our orders , believing that a young child does not understand ... and thought it wrong and lose sight of that as a child understand more than we imagine . Even if we assume that he does not understand and continued or hurry heaped on the ears of our children , we Snholhm to machines or computer programming by the will of the owner or employer who presses the button commands , and on the computer , but the response .. it pleases for his son to become a machine to carry out orders ? ! .. .. and put himself to become a machine for issuing commands ? !
While becoming the relationship between parents and their children just a relationship issue orders and implementation of the personal Son adversely affected and dominated by the character of inertia and the scallop , and absent from all the positive qualities that qualify to be the owner of human creativity and talents .
If we passed the orders how : I do , do not do ! ! All ! ! Get out ! Do not play ! Do not touch this! ! We will not offer our children an asset from which they gain self- value that specifies the criteria they have right and wrong , and right and wrong and harmful and beneficial ...
The independence of our children in a positive depends on the extent of acquisition of these standards through everyday behaviors , and Nlguenh them of the knowledge and skills ..
Imagine if every father and mother made orders are acceptable to the child , citing her scientific facts and realistic to become our daily school for our children :
- All the apples ; , it contains vitamin helps you to grow and strengthen your bones ..
- Not too much sweets ; they cause tooth decay and thus a sharp pain ..
- Do not touch the filaments of electricity ; do not even Asakk power may lead your life ..
- Enter the house , the hot air has become a knock- solar ...
- Growth early in order to preserve your health .....
- Do not watch too much TV ; , the more frequent follow-up affect your sight ..
- Do not play at this late date so as not to hurt our neighbors and so teach them and give them the standards to see what is fitting and what is not worthy .. and thus achieve a lot of positives in the lives of our children, we open a dialogue , we should tell them , make him hear us , we express to them our love for them , as well as our fear of that unharmed and we link our orders and our directives emotions and ties that bind them .. and when our orders this method lacks explanatory we Nnqlb in the minds of our children into selfish adults do not think of others ..
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